ellie's madre

The sickness

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:04:00 +0000

We are sick. Which really sucks as I hardly ever get sick. I am achy with a hacking cough. Eleanor is a little achy and stuffy. We both have fevers (99-100). Awesome! Just what I want around my sweet new baby. Hopefully the fact that I'm nursing will help her out. Maybe we should all be drinking it! lol

The birth story of Charlotte James (with some back story)

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:52:00 +0000

I'm going to attempt to blog more regularly, even if it is just to vent about my come and go post-partum depression/anxiety. But today I am going to write about the birth of my second sweet girl, and some of the journey that got me there.

On January 19, 2009 I found out I was pregnant....again. Between Eleanor and this pregnancy I had been pregnant 3 times. And had 3 miscarriages. That is a whole other blog post though! This pregnancy came as quite a surprise because of the crazy timing. Jimi and I were working our way back from a pretty rough December. We had done some reconnecting and well, I guess we really connected! Based on my history, I assumed this pregnancy wouldn't stick like the others. But it did.

At our 8 week ultrasound, Eleanor said the baby looked like Eve from Wall-E. She was so happy to see a little baby growing, where others had stopped growing. We were all happy. We decided to find out if it was a boy/girl, and learned we were having a baby girl at our 20 week ultrasound. I thought for sure it was a boy, but Jimi knew it would be a girl. Eleanor wanted to name her Chocolate Marshmallow, which is actually somewhat close to what we chose.

We knew that a job transfer back to Portland from Eugene might come up during the pregnancy, but we figured it would be after the baby came. Ha! At 27 weeks, Jimi was offered a store in Portland. We talked and talked about it, and decided to go for it. I chose OHSU for my OB care since they had water birth as an option there. Once I called they told me they wanted me to see an OB first because of my pre-term labor I had with Eleanor.

Oh, the pre-term labor saga. Eleanor was born at 36 weeks after my going into labor at 32 weeks. I was on bedrest for the 4 weeks before she was born. My dr in Eugene had recommended that I get weekly progesterone shots from 16-36 weeks to reduce the chance of pre-term labor again. I got my weekly shots and hoped for the best. We moved when I was 31 weeks pregnant. At my first visit with my OB at OHSU, she checked me and said I was 3cm and 85% effaced. Awesome! (Not.) So, I was sent up to labor and delivery. I was given lots of meds and stayed for 3 days. No cervical changes so I was sent home on bedrest.

Bedrest was emotionally rough because we had literally just moved, and had lots of unpacking to do. Plus, Eleanor and I couldn't leave the house. We watched a lot of kid's shows that month. Thankfully I have the most amazing friends who came by almost everyday to play with Eleanor and talk to me. Wonderful, wonderful people. I also had my mother blessing at 34 weeks from my couch. This was my first blessing and it was exactly what I needed. I love that all of that positive energy was stirred up in my living room.

At 37 weeks, I was taken off all bedrest. I was at 4cm, and my OB thought I would have the baby right away. Funny lady. Finally at 39 weeks, things were a-changing. I went in for my dr's appt and she found me to be 6cm dilated. I could not believe it. She called up to labor and delivery and they were full. We talked about breaking my water the next morning so I would not have the baby in the car or at home alone. (Eleanor was born in 2 hours.) I couldn't believe I was going to be induced. Ironic, yes? My appt was all set up for the next morning. I called my labor support and family support people. All was ready for the next morning.

That night I was laying on the couch watching Project Runway (10:30pm). I had a contraction and then another. They felt different and they didn't stop. I told Jimi that we were going to end up at the hospital that night. At 11:15pm, I called my support people and told them we were heading up to OHSU to have the baby. Then we called OHSU to let them know we were coming. They were full. No room at the inn for us! I started crying and handed the phone to Jimi. The nurses ended up sending us the another hospital that was closer to us. We called the support peeps and told them of the change in plans. We left at 11:48pm for the hospital. My contractions really increased in intensity as we made the 10 minute drive. I could hear Eleanor in the backseat telling me everything was going to be okay. We got to the hospital at 11:59 pm. I got out and walked into the Birth Center. I had a contraction in the hallway, so I stopped and breathed through it.

At 12:01 am, I got into the bed and the midwife came in and checked me. (I ended up with a midwife!) I was 8cm. At this point, I said shit. Or fuck. It really could have been either word or both. Seriously, walking down the hallway at 8cm? Just breathing?? This baby was coming fast and I was scared. I asked Jimi to take E out in the hallway to wait for Leah. At some point, Savannah got there. Everything was happening really fast. Jimi came back in, and I said I wanted to go in the bathtub. The midwife said I could go in but I would have to get out to push. That didn't sound too appealing. I could hear Eleanor crying in the hallway and had a hard time focusing. She was worried that something was wrong with me or the baby. (A good friend of ours had a stillbirth 2 weeks before, and Eleanor was worried.) Savannah had a nurse go out and tell her we were fine. I sat up, and my water broke.

I kept saying I was scared, and didn't want to do this. It hurt, and I tried to keep my voice in a low pitch but I couldn't. I needed to bite on something, and thankfully Savannah got me a washcloth to chew on. I think she thought I might bite her! I may have, who knows. I felt the urge to push and it felt so good. At one point I just breathed through it and Jimi watched the baby move from my body. They asked if I wanted to touch her head. I said I'll touch her head when she is out of me! LOL I pushed a few times and she was out and on my chest. It was 12:46am. 45 minutes!! They weighed her and she weighed 9 pounds 14 ounces. I said you've got to be shitting me. Eleanor was 6 pounds 4 ounces, just a little peanut. I had a small tear, so they stitched me up.

There is more to follow this story. Like our struggle with breastfeeding, the PKU results, and some depression/anxiety thrown in for good fun. But that will come another day.

My letter about Eleanor

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 06:39:00 +0000

I wrote this for my blessing today. I wrote it to honor my relationship with my daughter Eleanor. Of course I cried throughout reading most of it. She is an awesome girl and I am lucky that she is my daughter.

***

Eleanor is a dream realized. We tried and lost and then tried and tried again for her. I wanted so much to be a mother and yet had no clue what being a mother meant. I had absolutely so idea how much I would love her and what loving her meant 4 years ago when she came into this world. I am still in awe of her. She is so sweet and yet so full of fire sometimes. She really feels her emotions and boy can they be strong!

She takes from my cup everyday, yet by the end of the day it is overflowing. She will sometimes just walk up to me and gently touch my arm. She'll say I love you my sweetheart. When I cry, she will crawl in bed with me with a cloth wipe and wipe my tears away. She'll tell me everything will be okay. For our last 2 losses, she knew what was going on. She knew that the babies had stopped growing and that made mama sad. She was so comforting. It seems strange to say that about a small child, but she really was a comfort.

There are times I feel as though I couldn't adore her anymore, and then a new day comes and I find my heart has grown for her. She has the most eclectic style of dancing I have ever seen. She loves to dance and sing with her favorite shows. She is very particular about what she will eat. I wonder where she gets that?? I used to worry that she wouldn't be assertive enough. She can be pretty easy going about someone taking her food or toy sometimes. But "actually" she has shown us that she knows exactly what she wants, how she wants it, and when. I'm not that worried anymore.

I wonder who she will become as she grows up, how she will love, what will excite her. What will her profession be, will she go away to school. I am already so proud of the person she is. I know that will only grow as she gets older, no matter what she chooses to do in life.

She is beyond thrilled to have a new baby sister on the way. She is determined that this will be her baby. She is going to feed her and sleep with her. Of course we get to change her diapers. But Eleanor said she was going to teach her to use the potty, so that will be a big help. :) I can't even begin to imagine what it will feel like to see them together. Eleanor has been my heart for 4 years, and now there will be 2 sweet girls that have my heart. I am so, so thankful for the gift of Eleanor and for the gift that is this new baby. I know that once again I will feel as though my heart couldn't be any fuller, and then I will find that it has doubled and tripled.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

24 weeks

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 00:24:00 +0000

24 weeks, wow! Time is going by so fast. Here are the latest belly pics and a bonus one of Jimi being a goofball. That is him sticking his belly out. Funny guy. It's funny, I keep thinking I'm not very big. Then I look at these pictures and realize I am plenty big. lol

My recent craftiness

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 00:05:00 +0000

I have been rather crafty lately. I got a new wrap skirt pattern that is super cute, so I made myself a skirt. I made a simple skirt for Eleanor from the same fabric, we'll be matching! The skirt was made for some maternity pictures with Amy but we ended up rescheduling for next month. 3rd trimester here I come!

Next I have a trade worked out with someone on Hyena Cart. I made her new baby boy a quilt and she is knitting 2 pairs of longies with some wool I sent her. I hope she loves it. I really like working on baby quilts. Maybe I should start making one for my own little one? :)

A good friend gifted me with a bunch of onesies from when her son was a baby. I decided to add some little bits of fabric to spruce them up a little. I may cut the bottoms off too, because we didn't really use onesies with Eleanor. We'll see.

And I will leave you with a picture of my wall of fabric. I still have totes and totes of other fabrics, but these are my wovens, flannels, fleece, wool, etc.

Eleanor's 4th Birthday!

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 08:05:00 +0000

"She laid on my chest and her breathing filled me to almost beyond what I could hold."
-Story People quote

Today was Eleanor's 4th birthday. I wrapped her gifts up for her the night before, and set them out in the living room for her to find. Jimi hung up the banner of colored paper flags that I made, spelling out "Happy Birthday Eleanor!" We were all so excited for her special day to arrive. She couldn't wait to see what treasures she would find that day. Surely there would be some big changes that day, she thought. Perhaps she would grow overnight, or her voice would change? This magical age of 4. :)

I woke up early, beside myself with excitement. I decided to get up and wait patiently for Eleanor and Jimi to wake up. An hour passed and I couldn't wait anymore. Crawling next to her sweet, sleeping body I whispered, "Happy Birthday my sweet girl". (I have called her Sweet Girl since she was first born. My father in law used to tell me that I wouldn't always think she was such a sweet girl. Boy, was he ever wrong!) She opened her eyes, and told me it was so hard to be patient. She wished she could open her gifts. I told her all she had to do was wake up and she could open them! She was wide awake then!

She opened her gifts smallest to biggest. New lip gloss, the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie, a new swimsuit. Then the bigger gifts. A bike helmet, a magic set, and a guitar just like Daddy's! It came with picks and a strap that was "just her size". She loved it! She was so excited and thankful for each thing. She has been saying that she wants a ring like Mama and Daddy so that "we can all be married". So I found some adjustable toe rings that would fit her little fingers, and she was so happy to have a ring of her own. She wore one all day.

Eleanor and Jimi played guitar together, we did some magic tricks, then we headed off for Florence for the afternoon. We stopped for lunch when we got there, but she was too excited to eat anything. We went to the dunes and set up our blanket. She was off to find treasures and roll down the sand hills, squealing. She played her sandwich maker game and made some sand castles with Daddy. Then she played tag with the waves. After a few hours, we set off for home. She passed out and slept with mouth agape the whole ride home. :)

I made her cake when we got home, and Jimi's parents came over. Grandma and Grandpa got her a fishing pole! She went outside and practiced fishing with Grandpa. I don't know which one of them had more fun out there! We visited for awhile, then had cake. We all sang her Happy Birthday and she made her wish. (Mama hopes all of your wishes come true my sweet, sweet girl!) She assured me that there would be no fighting at bedtime tonight. I asked if that was because she was 4 now, and she said yes. What a sweet treat for me! I had no clue this was a perk of having a 4 year old. LOL The grandparents left and we started getting ready for bed. I could hear her struggling through the wall and chuckled at her earlier assurance of the "easy bedtime". Jimi knocked on the wall for me to come in. She was crying that she wanted to "lay with mama tonight, because I love her so much". Who could say no to that? I gladly put my arm around my sweet girl and she whispered in the dark about her day to me. She told me she loved me, and then drifted off to sleep.

She is a dream realized. I had absolutely so idea how much I would love her and what that meant 4 years ago when she came into this world. I am still in awe of her. She is so sweet and yet so full of fire sometimes. She takes from my cup everyday, yet it runneth over by the end of the day. There are times I feel as though I couldn't adore her anymore, and then a new day comes and I find my heart has grown for her. I wonder who she will become as she grows up, how she will love, what will excite her. She remembers a few of our losses and is beyond thrilled to have a new baby sister on the way. I am so, so thankful for the gift of Eleanor and for the gift that is this new baby. I know that once again I will feel as though my heart couldn't be any fuller, and then I will find that it has doubled and tripled.

Happy Birthday Eleanor, my sweet girl. Thank you for 4 years of delightful days!

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

22 weeks pic

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 06:29:00 +0000

Here I am at 22 weeks 1 day. I went to the thrift store this day looking for some newborn clothes. The checker asked if I had a little one at home too. I said my belly and said, "I have a little one still cooking right here." I thought for sure I was clearly showing! But I guess one has to be careful when assuming someone is pregnant, right?

Yay for new patterns!

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Mon, 25 May 2009 07:21:00 +0000

I went to Joann's for some patterns that were on sale this weekend. I got a few shirt patterns for me, a dress pattern for E, a Wizard of Oz pattern set for E, and a maternity skirt/shirt/dress pattern. I am really needing some cute shirts, but I'm having zero luck finding anything in the stores. And I can't spend $20 on a shirt when I'm not pregnant. No chance on doing that now. I just can't when there are such deals to be had at thrift stores. Anyways, the shirt patterns are just too much detail for me. I'm a simple girl when it comes to sewing. Shirts have 18 different pieces to them. I don't have patience for that. So, I'm going to make some skirts (much easier) and just buy a bunch of solid tanks and tees to go with them. I might try to make a few dresses, but we'll see. :)

These are the patterns for the skirts and the dress:

Hip Skirts pattern by Favorite Things.

Dress pattern from Kwik Sew #3486:

Wrap skirt pattern from Make It Perfect:

Maternity pattern from Simplicity #4704: (I will likely just use the knit skirt pattern from this.)

And then I'll get a bunch of solid tees and tanks from American Apparel. Hopefully it works okay. :) I have a wholesale account with them, so I get a huge discount. I just can't pay full price!

21 weeks and way too many names

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Fri, 22 May 2009 08:46:00 +0000

Now that we know we are having a girl, I guess it's time to think about names. For some reason I'm having a hard time narrowing down the list. Maybe because it's because I have already named a child and know how huge that is? I feel like this new child's name is going to be such a big part of her identity and I just keep adding names to the list. Seriously, I have 28 names on the list. It's a little out of hand. My plan is to whittle them down to maybe 5 names with Jimi, and post them on the refrigerator. Hopefully one will stick with us in the next 15-20 weeks. :) I'll list our top choices when we get around to agreeing on them. This could take awhile.

I am now 21 weeks pregnant. I am definitely feeling pregnant now. I still think I just look pudgy to most people. By nighttime, my belly feels bigger and firmer. But it was like that pre-pregnancy too. LOL I'm not super sure where I am with weight gain. Anywhere from 14-16 pounds, which isn't too bad at all. I'm not that concerned. Eleanor got to feel the baby for the first time today! She was pretty excited about it, but asked why the baby kicked her. :) She hasn't been patient enough to wait for a kick, but this morning she caught one. So that was cool. Jimi hasn't really felt it yet. In the morning, he is already at work when I wake up. Or at night, he is already asleep. Soon, soon.

My friend Amy wants to take some maternity pics for her portfolio in a few weeks. I am excited, but a little nervous, because she would like to do them semi-nude. Hopefully my belly is bigger by then. Right now I feel like I'm more boobs than belly! But she does beautiful work, so I know the photos will be awesome.

Look at my sweet girl loving on her daddy. :) My how she has grown! She will be 4 in 10 days. I have never posted letters to her, but I think I may do one this year. She is just so amazing, I adore her.

My new skirt!

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Sun, 17 May 2009 20:36:00 +0000

Not too bad for a skirt made in 1 day! I used Heather Bailey Pop Garden fabric and the Hip Skirts pattern. I have a ton of fabric, but not much in enough yardage in a skirt for me. I usually buy in 1-2 yard increments for my eleanor bean cloth bags or for something for Eleanor. So, it's a little more bright than what I would normally pick out. But it's pretty and comfortable and not jeans. lol It's not a maternity pattern, just an elastic waistband skirt. Now I must make more!! :)

Sweet video I made for Jimi 2 years ago

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Sun, 17 May 2009 06:53:00 +0000

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

20 week belly pic and a new haircut!

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Sat, 16 May 2009 05:54:00 +0000

Here is my 20 week belly picture. It doesn't look much bigger, but it feels like it. Not much new on the baby front.

The other night I finally felt like I had to cut Eleanor's hair. It was well below her bottom. And that was just a little too long for me. I need to take her in to have it fixed a bit, since I am not a hair stylist. lol But she looks super cute. She didn't even mind the haircut at all. Although the next day, when I brushed her hair, she said that the new haircut was supposed to make her have no more knots. I said, "Less knots." She said, "Less knots is no knots." Funny girl. (Check out the sweet 70's Fisher Price school desk toy I scored at the thrift store!)

Big ultrasound update

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Wed, 13 May 2009 07:53:00 +0000

We found out today that we are having a girl! They checked all of her measurements and everything looks good. I've only gained 11 pounds which is great! Especially considering that I could stand to eat a little better. lol I was hoping a little for a boy. Jimi is thinking he doesn't want us to go through the craziness (multiple losses) for another sticky baby. So I had hoped to experience a son. But it's all good. I am very happy to have daughters. :) It is amazing that I am even so lucky to have another child.

I'll do another picture on Thursday when I am 20 weeks. I definitely feel bigger. This also means that I won't have to buy as much clothes. I have a lot of Eleanor's clothes saved, so that is good. I will just need a few more newborn things. I still can't believe this is really happening. Eek!!

18 weeks belly pic

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Sat, 02 May 2009 19:26:00 +0000

Ok, there is my first official belly pic. :) 18 weeks and 1 day, almost halfway there! Last night, as I was laying in bed, it actually hit me. We are going to have another baby. It's just crazy! I just really never thought will all of our not-so-great pregnancy history, that an actual baby could grow in there. I keep trying to get Jimi to feel some of the kicks, but it's hard with Eleanor climbing all over us. Sometime soon, the kicks will be unmistakeable for him and he will feel it. It's still early anyways. :)

Cranky day

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 06:47:00 +0000

I have had a tired and cranky day today. My pelvic bone is hurting, and I had a headache. So I ate some protein and drank some water and that helped some. I have just been feeling like I am doing too much around here. Not even too much. I can't do everything I did before. I am nearing the halfway mark with this pregnancy (which is crazy) and I just hurt at the end of the day. I got grumpy with Jimi today because I want him to just take over a bit more and let me rest. I was down to part-time at 22 weeks with E, so I had a lot of time to rest. And I still went into labor at 32 weeks. I really don't want that to happen again.

So this is really just a vent post. :) Baby is doing well, moving all around everyday. I am getting my 17P "keep baby cooking" shots every week. Trying not to stress about our completely in-the-air moving plans. I need to start taking some belly pics this Thursday when I hit 18 weeks. I finally have somewhat of a visible belly. We get to see the baby again at the 20 week ultrasound in 2 weeks. If we can see gender, great. If not, that's okay. Baby will be wearing girly dipes no matter what. :) We just want a healthy baby.

Ok, vent over.....for now. :)

My little thumper

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 07:33:00 +0000

I haven't blogged in awhile, but all is still good. I am almost 17 weeks. Which is just so completely crazy to me. When I saw two lines, I didn't even think this far ahead. I wasn't thinking negatively, but I just didn't think ahead. But here we are. The baby is thumping away everyday now. Mornings when I first wake up, at night as I'm drifting off, and sitting at the computer. :) It has really helped me to connect with the baby. I have felt pretty distant from the whole thing. Which is understandable considering my history.

We also found out that we are going to moving back to Portland much, much earlier than we had expected. We were told nothing would happen until February/March of next year. But retail can be crazy, so we move in a month. To say I freaked out about this is an understatement. I start my weekly progesterone shots tomorrow (for pre-term labor). I like my doctor. We are making friends. We just pulled up some ugly stuff in front of our rental house and made it pretty. And...and..... But it will all be okay. We will find a place to live, and a new doctor or midwife. And we will have time to settle in before the baby is born. Eleanor will have some time to adjust before the big sister adjustment.

I am happy to be near friends and family once the baby comes. It will be really nice to have some help nearby if we need it. Especially since Jimi will have to go back to work. With Eleanor, he was home with us from 6 weeks until at least 6 months. (His parents had been in a bad motorcycle accident and he was needed at home.) So I was a bit spoiled. :)

Plenty of exciting stuff around here, but it's all good. :)

Wonderful Message

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 08:12:00 +0000

I saw this on Megin's blog, Labels are for Jars and had to re-post it here. I went and ordered some of these in posters (25 of them), so please let me know if you would like one. :)

A few things I would like for the baby

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 01:27:00 +0000

We really don't need much this time around. We have most everything from Eleanor still. Boy or girl, they will wear E's diapers. I have no qualms about flowers on a boy's diaper. :) And most of my wool is gender neutral. I am hoping that with all of my friends with kids, I can find most of this stuff gently used. :) But there are a few things I would like for the new baby.

-Ergo carrier and/or Beco carrier. Possibly a Kozy or Babyhawk too. I already have a few Hotslings and a stretchy wrap for the newborn months.

-a lightweight stroller. I am foreseeing carrying a baby and Eleanor wanted to be carried or getting tired. She will be 4 when the baby comes, so a lightweight stroller would be great. This isn't a necessity of course, but I wouldn't mind one.

-few more nb or preemie diapers and covers or wool longies. I have quite a few fitteds but I know how quickly they go through them when they are little. None of E's diapers fit her when she came home at 6 pounds, so we ended up using disposables for the first few weeks. I'd rather just do cloth this time.

-nb or preemie sleepers, long sleeve tees, cotton pants. We had a bunch of the up to 7 pound stuff for Eleanor and even that was a little big when she came home. For some reason I sold it on ebay. I'm going to scope out Gymboree and Baby Gap for their tiny stuff. And if it's a boy, we may need a few things. I know E wore pretty gender neutral stuff, so we should be okay.

-And we would love a king size bed again. We may struggle through with our queen until tax time and then buy a king with our tax return.

So we don't really need much. Anyone think they might have anything to sell/trade before September? :)

Treasure Map time!

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 09:08:00 +0000

It's that time again! March 26th at 9:05am will start the New Moon of Aries. This may be to woo-woo for some of you, but not for me. :) You can get some information here about what exactly a Treasure Map is. It is from 2008, but there is some good info there. I went and looked at my Treasure Map from last year to see what has changed in the past year. Very interesting year for me.

A few things were to build my tribe, to simplify, and to nurture myself and my husband. That didn't seem contradicting at the time. But it kind of was. :) I still have quite a few friends, but I have definitely seen my focus more on my family and less on the friendships. Not that I don't love my friends! I think that I put a lot of energy into them in the last year or so though, and my marriage needed that focus. I have seen an improvement in my connection with myself. Listening to music helps me to do that. Blogging helps me, as does sewing for fun.

Another one was to have a healthy pregnancy. I had just miscarried before I made last year's map and had another one in October. I was feeling pretty broken. Although this past year was probably the most distant for Jimi and I. We had some pretty serious conversations during this year. We nearly separated at one point. But going through that situation helped us to see that we didn't want to be apart. We wanted to be right here. And so I'm glad for the last year and our tough times. If we didn't have them, we would have surely not made it this far. And of course, 3 weeks after our "big situation" we conceived. It seemed crazy, but felt right too. I am now 12 weeks pregnant. This world is crazy.

So, all in all I think some of the things I needed/wanted worked themselves out. And in ways I didn't expect. But isn't that they way things go sometimes? On Thursday, I will go out and buy all of my supplies. I am excited for my next map. Eleanor did one with me last year. She put pictures of Teddy Grahams and mac and cheese. LOL The girl knew what she wanted. It will be interesting to see what she puts on her map this year. Happy mapping! :)

Sauteed Chicken with Asparagus

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 02:20:00 +0000

The other night I tried a new recipe from Everyday Food. I was worried it would not have much flavor, so at the end I mixed in some soy sauce and ginger-garlic sauce. It was a hit! The only thing I left out was the mushrooms, because....ick. Oh I also only used 1 pound of asparagus. 2 pounds seemed like a lot. But it would be a good way to stretch out the meal for more people. Enjoy!

Ingredients

Serves 4.

* 1 tablespoon olive oil
* 2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken thighs (about 6), cut into 2-inch pieces
* Coarse salt and ground pepper
* 1 pound button mushrooms, trimmed and thinly sliced
* 2 pounds asparagus, tough ends removed, cut into 2-inch lengths
* Cooked noodles or rice (optional)

Directions

1. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium-high. Season chicken with salt and pepper. Cook in two batches, turning occasionally, until browned and opaque throughout, 6 to 8 minutes; transfer to a plate.
2. To skillet, add mushrooms, asparagus, and 1 cup water; season with salt and pepper. Cook, tossing once and scraping up browned bits, until vegetables are crisp-tender, 4 to 6 minutes. Add chicken; cook, tossing, until warmed through, about 2 minutes. Serve on top of noodles or rice, if desired.

Ultrasound #2

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 19:56:00 +0000

We went in for our second ultrasound this morning. She wasn't able to see anything on the outside which freaked me out a little. But I think I didn't drink enough water. So, inside she went. The baby was wiggling around with a heartbeat of 185 bpm. The dr. says that around this time is when it peaks, so it's not too high. The baby measures perfectly for dates. All is good!

I will still feel better one we hit 12 weeks. Jimi jokes that I'll feel better when the baby is born. I just don't have that pregnancy innocence. I know that it is a fragile thing. But I am really feeling like this one is going to stick. That makes me happy and freaks me out! Hopefully at my 12 week appt. I'll get to hear the hb with the doppler. :)

A little update and some ramblings

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 07:46:00 +0000

First off, for those not in the know, we are pregnant...again. We are hoping this pregnancy sticks. But for now, we are just enjoying each day as it comes. Our new doctor seems way more on the ball than my last one, so that is good. We would love to switch over to a midwife but still have to discuss that. We have time to figure it all out.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but we are here in Eugene for at least another year. I have been traveling to Portland less and less to visit too. It costs a lot for us to do, and I would like to have Jimi come with us more. I can't believe I have been in Eugene for 16 months. Wow. I made some great friends in Portland in only 6 months. I have one friend here in Eugene. Hmmm..... So I have decided that I really need to be a bit more outgoing and make some friends. We go to a weekly playdate at a local gymnastics place and that is nice. But I haven't met up with any of the moms outside of that day. It's one of my main goals this year. We need some friends. :)

Eleanor is taking karate through the Parks and Rec. She loves it. She starts Clay Play tomorrow too. It's "school" to her. I am thinking that once business picks up for Jimi, I may sign her up for a preschool co-op here in town. It's $100-$150 a month, which isn't bad. But we would need to budget for it. Since it's a co-op, I would get to volunteer there a few times a month. I'm not set on it yet, just thinking about it. I love the Waldorf school, but it is way too spendy for us.

Surrender Box

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:49:00 +0000

My Daily Om for today:

Surrender Box
A Place For Worries and Fears

There are times when our minds become too full. Our to-do lists, worries, plans, and dreams may be so crowded together in our heads that we don’t have room to think. We may believe that we are somehow taking care of our desires and concerns by keeping them at the forefront of our minds. In maintaining our mental hold on every detail, however, we may actually delay the realization of our dreams and the resolution of our worries because we won’t let them go. At times such as these, we may want to use a surrender box.

A surrender box allows us to let go of our worries and desires so the universe can take care of them for us. We write down what we want or need to happen and then place the note into a box. By writing and placing our thoughts in the box, we are taking action and letting the universe know we need help and are willing to surrender our feelings. We give ourselves permission to not concern ourselves with that problem any longer and trust that the universe is taking care of it. You may even want to decorate your box and place it in a special place. Your surrender box is a sacred container for your worries. Not only do you free up space in your mind by letting go of our worries and desires and dropping them into your surrender box, but you are giving your burden over to a higher power. Once we drop our worries and desires into the surrender box, we free our minds so we can be fully present in each moment.

Surrendering our worries and concerns and placing them in the hands of the universe doesn’t mean that we’ve given up or have been defeated. Instead, we are releasing the realization of our desires and the resolution of our worries and no longer concerning ourselves with their outcomes. It’s always fun to go back and pull the slips of paper out of the box once your requests have been granted. And it’s amazing how quickly problems go away and dreams come true when we finally let go and allow a higher power to help us.

Clearing out the cobwebs

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 08:59:00 +0000

It's been awhile, but I'm still here! So very much has been going on at Casa de Marshall. Seriously. We had some bumps on Marriage Rd. But it was a big eye-opener and we are committed to making it better, making it great! And apparently it is working because I am now 5 weeks pregnant. LOL 2 more weeks and we get to see the little bean. We are very excited and full of hope.

We have decided to stay put in Eugene until a better position comes along with Jimi's work. Financially and emotionally, it just wasn't a good choice for us. It was just a transfer to get us to Portland, not a promotion. There are big things in Jimi's future at his work so we can be patient. I'm pretty confident that something will happen this year that will get us to Portland. And it will be awesome.

As for my own business/work stuff, I love sewing my bags. And I do okay just through word of mouth. This year my goal is to find a local source to sew the bags for me and get the bags placed in local shops. I would likely cut all of the pieces and drop them off to be made. I would imagine it is spendy, but a professional who is just sewing and not pregnant and chasing after a 3 year old will get them done faster than me. :) My second goal is to get the serger I was gifted with cleaned/serviced/repaired and figure out how it works. I'd like to make comfortable mama clothes to sell. It would do well where I usually list my bags, and I would make more per piece than my bags. One of the things I loved about working retail is when a woman felt really good in whatever she was trying on. You can tell when someone puts something on that fits them well and is comfortable. They glow! I want to be able to give that to people with my clothing.

And we have a new President!! How awesome was it to watch all of the inauguration coverage? We voted for change and now it's our turn to make that change. It's nice to see so many people be proud of their country. In the words of Michael Jackson (come on, how often do you get to quote MJ??):

If you wanna make the world a better place,
Take a look at yourself
And then make the change

LOL, have a great day all!

Today's Daily OM

noreply@blogger.com (elliesmadre) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 03:20:00 +0000

I thought this was a great message for any sign or any day for that matter. :)

January 13, 2009
Diffusing Conflict with Love
Virgo Daily Horoscope

You may feel edgy today, and unsure about how others will react to your opinions, ideas, or choices. A restless mood can furthermore make interacting with individuals in your home and workplace difficult, as you may respond defensively to critical comments that were likely not meant to offend. Though your ultimate goal may be to avoid conflict, aggression caused by misunderstandings may nonetheless play a role in your day. You can minimize the effect they have on your outlook by responding with copious amounts of love to the negative vibrations that are projected by others. You will likely discover that people cannot maintain their hostile attitudes today when confronted with your generous gifts of compassion and kindness.

When we choose to love rather than react to those who are aggressive, we can easily diffuse conflict because we, in essence, refuse to add any fuel to the aura of antagonism that already has been established. It takes two individuals to hold an argument, and two individuals to keep tension alive. By positioning ourselves apart from anger, and treating those who are angry with compassion, we can effectively quench the flames of hostility. We can better understand the positions held by those in opposition to us because we are willing to examine their thoughts and feelings without posing judgment. Others, seeing our openness to compromise, are then vastly more likely to entertain our own notions of right and wrong. Your feelings of anxiety will disappear today when you approach interpersonal conflict from a strong foundation of love and willing cooperation.