My letter about Eleanor

I wrote this for my blessing today. I wrote it to honor my relationship with my daughter Eleanor. Of course I cried throughout reading most of it. She is an awesome girl and I am lucky that she is my daughter.

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Eleanor is a dream realized. We tried and lost and then tried and tried again for her. I wanted so much to be a mother and yet had no clue what being a mother meant. I had absolutely so idea how much I would love her and what loving her meant 4 years ago when she came into this world. I am still in awe of her. She is so sweet and yet so full of fire sometimes. She really feels her emotions and boy can they be strong!

She takes from my cup everyday, yet by the end of the day it is overflowing. She will sometimes just walk up to me and gently touch my arm. She'll say I love you my sweetheart. When I cry, she will crawl in bed with me with a cloth wipe and wipe my tears away. She'll tell me everything will be okay. For our last 2 losses, she knew what was going on. She knew that the babies had stopped growing and that made mama sad. She was so comforting. It seems strange to say that about a small child, but she really was a comfort.

There are times I feel as though I couldn't adore her anymore, and then a new day comes and I find my heart has grown for her. She has the most eclectic style of dancing I have ever seen. She loves to dance and sing with her favorite shows. She is very particular about what she will eat. I wonder where she gets that?? I used to worry that she wouldn't be assertive enough. She can be pretty easy going about someone taking her food or toy sometimes. But "actually" she has shown us that she knows exactly what she wants, how she wants it, and when. I'm not that worried anymore.

I wonder who she will become as she grows up, how she will love, what will excite her. What will her profession be, will she go away to school. I am already so proud of the person she is. I know that will only grow as she gets older, no matter what she chooses to do in life.

She is beyond thrilled to have a new baby sister on the way. She is determined that this will be her baby. She is going to feed her and sleep with her. Of course we get to change her diapers. But Eleanor said she was going to teach her to use the potty, so that will be a big help. :) I can't even begin to imagine what it will feel like to see them together. Eleanor has been my heart for 4 years, and now there will be 2 sweet girls that have my heart. I am so, so thankful for the gift of Eleanor and for the gift that is this new baby. I know that once again I will feel as though my heart couldn't be any fuller, and then I will find that it has doubled and tripled.


I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning